Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I snuck out of my bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up my new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash my hands and walk back into the room she had pooped, peed, and left potty-paw-prints all over my bed. FML
Today, my 3-year-old fell asleep in our bed while cuddling me, and I let him stay since he was being so sweet. In the middle of the night, he took off his pants and pissed all over my head and back. FML
Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I bought an expensive blanket to help warm up for the winter. Right after I put it on the bed, my dog jumped up and peed on it. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML
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Top comments
Sammara 0
Why is a FIVE week old puppy sleeping in your bed? They're still really fragile at that age.
wiggs5 0
Aw :) puppies are great!
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Comments (150)
733yoda_fml 19
What breed?
GeorgiaBea 28
That's the worst. At least he's cute!!!
CaptainShalliwaffle 4
You shouldn't take a puppy away from its mother til at least 8 weeks, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say this must have been a rescue of an abandoned pup or something similar.