Today, my 4 year old son excitedly asked me if he'd get to see drones at the zoo. He apparently thinks drones are living creatures. I guess I can go ahead and spend his college savings on shoes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally bought the toy my two year-old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I gave him the gift, and he started playing with the bag it came in. FML
Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML
Today, I asked my 13-year-old son if he thought he was mature enough for a talk about "the birds and the bees." His response was, "They fly, so what? Why would I care?" FML
Today, my wife insisted we start a college fund for our son, even though from where we were sat in the kitchen, we could clearly see him eating ice cream he'd just dropped on the floor, while picking at his belly button. He’s 13. College, sure. FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML
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Top comments
Callyn 47
Come on now, he's four. How is he supposed to know that unless you teach him?
chosha_fml 27
What is wrong with you? He’s not even in school yet. What he doesn’t know is on you.
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Comments (47)
Shawnie Gallant 24
He’s four. You’re his parent, why doesn’t he know what a drone is, Susan? It’s your job.
123Puppy 33
You shouldn't be so quick to give up on him. Your job is to teach him. Not to judge him.
Alup132 22
Drones are a type of bees, so he’s not wrong... Though he probably is.
Emily Hill 9
Lady he's four he doesn't know yet I get if he was like ten or something but FOUR when I was four I thought spaghetti noodles grew on trees because of an ad I saw I know better now
BurnInDemonFire 39
Wasn't that a BBC prank? I think I saw it on YouTube.
Emily Hill 9
Yeah but there was an ad that played up until I was eight too the point I was making is at four I actually believe that you could plant a tree to get pasta when I was four
Zeatha Mistron 7
It’s also an ad from a pasta commercial from 1978. https://youtu.be/q-ZtGoXkI58
whiskey'swino 15
You already taught him one thing about your outlook on his potential as an adult- This shoes were made for stomping and thats just what they'll do, Everyday this shoes will stomp all over you.
thelittlem 15
Most 4 year olds aren't geniuses you know.
engineerosaurus 26
You seem like maybe not a very nice person.
skippydoda 32
He's four. I use to think pasta was meat at that age.
MissReanimator 11
When I was four, I thought there were gnomes that lived inside traffic lights and changed the colors. Kids are usually dumb and believe stupid things. If you didn't expect that going into parenthood, and moreover if you can't find the joy and humor in it, I think you might be the bigger problem in your kid's life.
Sinshine 28
Kids aren't dumb. They just don't know any better because they haven't had the chance to experience it yet... And apparently their lousy parents rather go complain about their kid being stupid rather than teach them what a drone is.
Kelli Christine 10
I thought there was an entire town of little people running my insides, & every time I had a headache or stomach ache I'd be super sad because someone got in a car accident in there. 😂
cptncuttlefish 24
Maybe you shouldn’t have had kids... it’s your job to teach them things at this age, after all.