Today, my 4 year old son excitedly asked me if he'd get to see drones at the zoo. He apparently thinks drones are living creatures. I guess I can go ahead and spend his college savings on shoes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I finally bought the toy my two year-old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I gave him the gift, and he started playing with the bag it came in. FML
Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML
Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
Isn't that illegal?
Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML
The Talk
Today, I asked my 13-year-old son if he thought he was mature enough for a talk about "the birds and the bees." His response was, "They fly, so what? Why would I care?" FML
Fatherly pride
Today, my wife insisted we start a college fund for our son, even though from where we were sat in the kitchen, we could clearly see him eating ice cream he'd just dropped on the floor, while picking at his belly button. He’s 13. College, sure. FML
It's not what you think
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML
Top comments
Callyn 47
Come on now, he's four. How is he supposed to know that unless you teach him?
chosha_fml 27
What is wrong with you? He’s not even in school yet. What he doesn’t know is on you.
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Comments (47)
TumblrweedPasses 11
So educate him He's not stupid, he's young and curious
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
This woman is so oblivious.
TeacherTeacher 11
F the kid's life for having a lousy, selfish mom. At 4 he can't yet distinguish between fantasy and reality. He thinks when you aren't with him you cease to exist and that his stuffed toys come to life when he's asleep.
Mungolikecandy 19
When I was four I thought that if I did not get out of the bathroom before the toilet finished flushing giant ants would come out of it and eat me. By the time I was at college I had mostly divested myself of that idea. Give him a break and just admit you don't want to send him to college.
Sinshine 28
The heck, he's 4, not 14. Poor kid getting stamped as stupid already just because he doesn't know any better yet...
RinoaHeartilly 36
Wow, way to be a supportive parent.
tarabella 7
He's four. If he was fourteen then you'd have a reason to worry. How the hell do you expect a four year old to know anything unless you explain things to him? Don't call your kid stupid just because you are a bad parent.
SonofMnemosyne 20
he's only four
IcedSapphire 27
...he’s literally four years old.
1gullible_bugger 34
that's a little bit harsh isn't it. He's 4 years old! unless someone told him in advance what a drone is, how would he know? this is a teaching moment, not an opportunity to insult your kid's intelligence.