anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
shitface
Australia
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Noname
France
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
applesmama
United States
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
Anonymous
Concord, Canada
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Anonymous
Charming...
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Misbah Akhtar
Plymouth, United Kingdom
Child's play
Today, my 6 year-old brought me a card. On it was a turd belonging to my 4 year-old son. She got excited and grossed out, and threw it on the rug. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, as I put my 4 year-old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML
NooOOooOO
Today, I learned how artistically talented my daughter is. Unfortunately, her favorite medium to work in is poo. FML
WhosGoingToCleanThisUp
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
Splosh
Today, my daughter taught me the literal meaning of "When the shit hits the fan." FML
mom
Spring, United States
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Top comments
MCVelvet1497 3
Oh, shit balls.
fricknugget 3
LMFAO it might be me my new one too!!:P
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Comments (265)
sugarglitterkiss 4
had to hav gotten it from someoneeee.....
sarahbell85 0
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahaha
iownmylife13 1
that my 6 year old cousins also
notsooperfect 0
looks like your daughter was spying on you during sex LOL
daydreamer244 13
nice kid :)
falloutboylove7 0
could be worse my three year old brother used to walk around saying ******* douchebag.
falloutboylove7 0
could be worse my three year old brother used to walk around the house saying ******* douchebag.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Kids say the darndest things...
MyPencils 5
lol!
donkeytoes 0
That's wonderful tell her to shut her ****-holster