Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, I finally broke my two-year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
Today, it's our ten-year anniversary, and I thought finally we would break our 10-month dry spell with some action. My husband had dozed off and was snoring even before I could reach the bed after finishing my chores. So much for happily ever after… FML
Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML
Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML
Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML
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Top comments
kportal69 5
that sucks. I've broken a bed. you just have to laugh and keep going which I'm sure was your intent but clearly not hers. keep up with that ****.
Miss_Michaela 10
Next time you go out on the pull: "Hey there, little lady. I've been known to break a few beds".
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Comments (149)
nicobington 1
**** u man that's mean
jordangregs 3
why were u play fighting with her when you were suposed to be shagging her??!!
ILoveTabz 0
getting head in rentals, avoiding the parentals, this us ghetto plain and simple with the down- beat tempo! BOTDF totally different song but the head part made me think of this song :P
XxGuard 0
So... what's your point? A 3-year dry spell hasn't hurt you. My ex and I broke 2 beds. But I've been on a 2-year dry spell since my divorce and I'm quite satisfied with my life. Move on... and get a stronger bed for the future. Gain some self-control.
LittleMagicWolf 7
Wouldn't stop me. just new furniture to mess around on with my man lol
TMUSEk 0
awww you mustve said something bad or she wasnt that lovely bc that kind of accident usually calks for laughter, laughter bgrings a feeling of closeness...aaaaand definitely sex. sorry man, you'll get it next time.
coltsluvr123 2
looks like your bed was just as rusty as you...
dansco 25
Hard luck fatty lmao
FriskyCoconut 0
no offense but you sound like a creep, just by how you worded this FML. lots of laughs? heated up nicely? I'm sorry but I can imagine a pedo talking like this.
dudeitsdanny 10
BOTDF is crap. Their music sucks, but not as much as their pointless words that pass off as lyrics. They're perfect proof of the overall deterioration of music over the last couple decades, and an example of the mediocrity that passes for greatness in today's society. And, let's not forget, it shows the watering down of lyrics to please the majority of people, who can't be bothered to think for themselves and prefer to listen to repetitive, pointless, unintelligent words.