Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung on the balls by a jellyfish. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was working my lifeguard job when I had to remind a 17 year-old boy that water is clear and that I could see him pulling his trunks down to moon his friends. Kind of want to drown myself now. FML
Today, I had to go take swimming lessons because my mom has a fear I'll drown and I'm totally afraid of swimming anyway and never get anywhere near water. My instructor? A high school classmate of mine. My fellow swimming classmates? 5 and 6 year old kids. FML
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Top comments
F0xyTurtle 8
Lake Sharks!
block1 2
Just throw him in
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Comments (156)
Tapia23 4
Bull sharks are known for swimming in oceans, lakes, and rivers and have attacked people in shallow waters
candypants86 0
Tell him knowledge is power and he should learn all about sharks. Then he'll know not to be afraid.
whiterabbit420 4
That backfired in my case. I started learning about their multiple rows of theeth, How well they could smell blood and the fact that I can never ever swim faster than or overpower one.. You should be afraid of sharks. Granted I know I'm very afraid and the oceans are usually fairly safe I'd rather not risk it
julz0125 5
He should be more scared of contracting a deadly amoeba in the lake than with a shark bite....
julz0125 5
That's a movie coming out I wanna see it
killercole85 0
To much shark week?
iloveporeotics 0
There r possibilities of shark attacks in lakes...the Bull Shark is able to go into fresh and salt water...just a notice...
fatass_ninja 0
not to be harsh, but he needs to grow a pair... or read a book
chasin_butterfli 0
Whatever you do, don't tell him about alligators!
badactor009 0
Well, usually I only eat babies... but in his case, I might make an exception. It has been my experience that especially stupid people taste great. Bet you didn't know that, didja?
megsy123 0
damn bull sharks cowing male American children into submission with their freshwater super powers!!