Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me telling me she's pregnant. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
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Top comments
Arenick 0
Im guessing your daughter never came to one of these speakings right?
dspadres 0
I didn't know Sarah Palin visited FML! Awesome.
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Comments (270)
SquidUlysses 0
Let me guess, you never gave her more of a talk on sex that went beyond "wait until you're married" right? You totally deserved this. You know whose life is really going to be screwed over? The kid's, since you probably don't have the presence of mind to get an abortion like you ought to.
dcstream 0
What part of "Celibacy and Safe sex" did you not understand?
wutwutandwut 3
I think the celibacy is the safe sex. why would they promote both?
boatkicker 5
Most things do teach both like "Don't have sex, but if you're going to anyways, please be careful about it"
wutwutandwut 3
Thats not really teaching safe sex, More sort of adding it as an afterthought.
letitbe56 0
It depends on whether or not they teach the kids about how to use condoms and other forms of birth control, talk about the failure rates, encourage them to use two kinds at once, etc. If they do all that, it's not an afterthought. There's nothing wrong with saying that there is no way to have 100% safe sex. The term "safe sex" is actually on the out, in favor of the term "safer sex." (That the OP doesn't know that also makes me think this FML is fake.)
rifletwirler92 15
To the people who say she deserved it for supposedly not teaching her daughter about safe sex, first off, where does it say she didn't teach her daughter? Second off, research has shown that teenagers who do attend abstinence seminars and whatnot are still just as likely to have sex as teenagers who haven't. I believe in this case the daughter was being stupid and having sex without protection.
hawkloverr 0
i don'tr think the person who made tihs post, and who your comment is directed toward, needs an abortion. she's not the pregnant one. also, kids don't listen to their parents. duh.
Yokaze 0
Yeah, it is silly to assume she didn't use protection, even if she did get pregnant. Because that's called "knowing."
Bullshet 0
@ 2: Learn to read. They promote celebicy and SAFE SEX.
b0rnxfam0us 0
Learn to spell: CELEBACY
letitbe56 0
Wow. Wow. Celibacy. Learn to spell yourself.
p00p0ster0us 0
I promote celery.
SaintJimmy 0
This wins. ^^ :)
jolar1 0
Celibacy? Really? I have a feeling that the word abstinance was what was intended.
EDEPMATS 0
Sex is awesome!
BrownEyedNinja 0
wtf?
loverslanex3 0
Oh damn...fourteen years old? That is way too young to be having a baby. Its ironic though.
FritoLovesYou 0
Lol, someone's a dumb *****.
karmareaction 0
"UGHHHHHH ITS NOT THAT BAD" So you're stupid, too. Your poor mother...
jnic 0
Wow, you're a troll, right? Either that or you only think that about girls because no girl in her right mind would want to make a move on you.
loverslanex3 0
I agree...you're dumb.
joethemann2 0
holy crap I'm fourteen