Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
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Top comments
Crenny 16
Volcanoes aren't places you wanna be thrown into.
Classy_Sassy_15 15
You should have that talk with her
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Comments (123)
briang959 47
Kids say the damnedest things.
RainEliseWolf 16
Well she is old enough for the talk...
nmcevoy 12
Wut
cnygard95 12
Anything to do with Cards Against Humanity? I know there is a card that references that.
A5Glue56 8
Love what you said there
LiveLifeAllDay 11
She really need to get her priorities straight, right?
JacobFrench 16
#16 bad joke
devildog562 33
Your daughter needs some serious talking to. I hope you dat down and explained a lot more then volcanic sacrifices.
MidnaLink 35
*sat *than
Miscellanonymous 8
do you all live near any volcanos?
worldclassrager 41
In New York it doesn't seem likely
FluffyPandas156 13
looks like your daughter doesn't want to be sacrificed
amanda182 19
She probably saw the movie The house Bunny. They have a virgin party and she has to go down a volcano slide thing.
Parvati48 15
Maybe but that sounds and looks like it would be fun. Love that movie lol.
katelynrose2532 19
that's a good movie though
luvdolphin 9
what?