Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML
Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, my little brother left the house with my phone by accident. He called from his school to ask for my password so he could access his email. When he got home and gave me my phone back, while closing the open apps, my photo gallery was open. When I clicked on it, my naked selfie was open. FML
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
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Top comments
Loe_307 0
It's even more funny that he had the sense to lock his door and you didn't.
Aldrahil 0
... Nice... At least he learns from you and not from some twonker in school or... from South Park...
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Comments (177)
theman99 0
everyone gets caught sometimes. ive been caught 4 times. well one time only half counts. they saw the **** but i had already put my schlong away when i heard someone approaching. problem was that it was a chick i knew who had come over earlier than i expected. that was awkward. i was watching some pretty hardcore stuff. not mainstream porno either. other times was by my older brother. not so bad, he gets it. everyone masturbates. And my door doesnt have a lock. and do you honestly expect me to wait until everyones gone or go to the bathroom every single time i **********. sometimes you just gotta do it right than and there.
missus_butter 0
Haha, you taught your brother to beat off AND to make sure he locks the door. You sound like a pretty cool brother, and his life just got a whole lot better.
firebrand111 0
This is ****** up in more ways than one. By the way...how many of these am I going to see before people start to realize to lock their ******* doors? If you don't have a lock...uh...don't do it. It just reminds me of how the average IQ in this country is 100. That means half this country has a double digit IQ. And we are one of the top nations in the world. That's like a mentally challenged kid running a high school...
cadenernest 0
wow, #69 FTW agreed with #68 Whatever, he didn't lock his door, I never locked my door (didn't have a door lock, and it's common courtesy to knock before entering, which my family always did) when I lived at home. Of course it's common sense to lock the door, but what happens if the urge hits you in the middle of hmwk because you spaced out and started thinking naughty thoughts? Are you always going to get up and lock the door? Your brothers reaction is what's priceless and earned it a favourite. Priceless.
eaglesfan761 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *heavy breathing* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *whew* that's pretty funny.
Weil 0
This isn't an FML. It's more of a "My life is awesome" situation. You should feel like a great older brother now. I know I would.
Slashcko 0
Pro tip: Not all doors have locks.
Dashiell 0
I lol'd
smallshattered 0
lol they gotta learn sometime :P
Bunbu 8
And how exactly is this bad?