Today, a few army recruiters came to my school to discuss their jobs with us. When asked to say our name and what we wanted to do when we were older, I said I wanted to be a prosecutor. Everyone started laughing. Turns out everyone thought I said prostitute, including the recruiters. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML
Today, I realised the recruiter for the Navy lied to me. This shit ain't fun. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "LMAO" out loud at his friend's joke. FML
Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML
Today, after months of unemployment, I got an interview. It went great until the recruiter asked if I had questions. Trying to sound thoughtful, I asked, "What do employees dislike most about working here?" The recruiter laughed and said, "That's a unique way to phrase that." I spent the rest of the interview wondering why my brain chose violence at the worst possible moment. FML
Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Just because it made it to the main page today doesn't mean OP posted it today.
s_ve 7
They have opened back up in some Places
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Comments (5)
Baby_123 8
I BUY that, I’m kidding but Dw no one will remember next week
Jasmine Asuzu 2
Thought schools were closed down...
BurnInDemonFire 39
Just because it made it to the main page today doesn't mean OP posted it today.
s_ve 7
They have opened back up in some Places
Kraths 16
Also some never officially closed or ended their years.
hdisnfjs91 21
Parents could be essential workers.
John Martin 5
Either way, if you achieve your goal, you’ll be making more money than most of the morons laughing at you. Great convos w any of them later n life. fu@‘em!!
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Next time, say "lawyer."
sickerthanyou 13
Next time just say lawyer