Today, it was my turn to open the bar I work at. As I walked into our terrace, I found our insane upstairs neighbour leaving the scene without a word. This was right before I spotted the steaming pile of dung she'd left behind. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Today, I came home to the vilest stench I've ever smelled. I had to open a floor vent and scoop up the turd that was inside. Funnily enough, today was the day my scumbag roommate moved out, but I'm sure he had absolutely nothing to do with it. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I went into the tanning room at work, where the lady in there last had decided the trash can was a toilet and pooped in it. Before she sat, she took the time to wrap the edges in paper towels, I guess in case anyone else had done this before her. I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I opened my blinds to see the front yard littered with trash. My neighbor's cat ripped our trash bags open and smeared them all over the lawn. Since it was my turn to take out the trash this week, my family decided I would be the one cleaning up too. FML
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Top comments
SweetasCandy0609 28
I think you should get a shovel and leave the crap on her front door.
DocBastard 40
My cat did that to me, but her brain is the size of a large walnut. I have to assume the same about your batshit crazy neighbour.
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Comments (42)
brook823 24
What is wrong with her?
FYoLifeLol 10
She's insane.
IamHercules 24
Or just very upset with some thing her neighbor did.
ohSNAPyall 27
OP invaded her territory.
briang959 47
I'd put her picture next to it and let everyone know who that poo belonged to.
DocBastard 40
My cat did that to me, but her brain is the size of a large walnut. I have to assume the same about your batshit crazy neighbour.
Emmiii_fml 18
"A large walnut" amazing.
sarah5745 41
Oh god, not this 'pun' again..
irrelephant1 19
Besides just talking bad about her , I think it more then just a little obvious that your neighbor needs some help. It's not very nice to make fun of the mentally ill. Besides posting here have you reached out to anyone to get her some assistance?
soulreaper12296 28
Who said she has a mental illness? Maybe someone from the bar pissed her off and that's her way of getting revenge. And just because it says "insane neighbor" doesn't mean she's actually insane or has some kind of illness mentally.
Witchylady 18
That is so vile. Some people are gross. Though a customer at a bookstore I used to work at urinated in the middle of the children's book section and then proceeded to search for books while her urine soaked skirt stuck to her thighs. So yes done people are just so wrong in so many ways.
captainsmegma 12
It's called a tip. Not all tips are in cash.
DenverTyrrell 13
Here's a tip, don't try to be funny :) unless you was being genuine and you actually like shit :S
DenverTyrrell 13
What the hell! That is so wrong! Isn't there a law against that or something? :P
grimpeeper 13
jbombdighetty 11
Aw! that's awful. Sorry you had a shitty day, OP!