Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

Get the message

Today, it’s my birthday. At work, at my desk, I found this beautiful gift-wrapped box and a card that read, “From all of us, we really care about you, and hope you like your present!” I opened the box. It had body shower gel, deodorant, soap, fragrance spray, and “frizz shampoo.” Hint taken. FML

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

Today, after ignoring me for about a week, my boyfriend finally broke up with me. Why? He discovered that I use prescription deodorant. FML

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

Thanks, I guess…

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

Today, my boyfriend announced he has stopped wearing deodorant because he thinks his BO smells "manly." FML