Today, it's the third day my ring won't come off. I used soap, vegetable oil, lotion, soaked my hand in ice to make the swelling of my finger to come down, and even my mom pulled so hard she dislocated my finger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my hand was stung by a wasp. It has resulted in all my fingers being swollen and therefore much bigger than usual. I'm getting married tomorrow and there's no way I can get the ring on my finger. FML
Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML
Today, as I peeled a now soggy Band-Aid off my finger, I discovered that in the dim light of yesterday evening, I had, with great anxiety, wrapped it around the wrong finger. FML
Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the ring I wear on my ring finger needs to come off because it's too big. It's too big because I bought it for him and he gave it back to me 6 months later. I've been wearing it on the same finger for the last 3 months with no problems. FML
Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML
Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML
Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML
Today, I noticed that the injury on my hand from three weeks ago no longer hurt. A while later, I accidentally slammed that same hand in a door. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped my engagement ring down a sewer. To my surprise, the sewer water was frozen and my ring sat on top. During my efforts to retrieve it, I had to watch as the ice slowly melted due to the warm day. The ring sank further and further until it was completely gone. FML
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Top comments
zelhackin 0
get Gollum to help you he's really good at that
greg84_fml 21
Looks likes it's time to cut it off.
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Comments (248)
CaughRedHanded 0
... you do know that hot water makes stuff like that expand? ....
Skatejock21 0
Are you preggo? did you break your finger? too much salt? eat too much fast food? dehydration? ever think of cutting it off?!?
stephoria 2
HOLY SHIT that would hurt.
SpeshulK 0
It would've been great if you farted right when she dislocated your finger (pull my finger, if you don't get it)
Night7 0
fat fingers
DaveOnDope 4
So marry the asshole, or cut your finger off. Simple!
JokerJohn7 0
lose some weight. that's probably the only way at this point
kjcamaro3 5
windex....
Classlfied 4
You can probably get it off if you cut some calories.
sweetTnt_fml 0
happens to me all da time wit condoms...I kno da feelin
redbluegreen 41
Probably best to keep that kinda thing between you and your internet service provider.