Today, it's my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises behind the front door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights… as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and I was going over to my friend's house for dinner. When I walked in, everyone yelled, "Surprise!" and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me, she said, "Wrong person guys, turn off the lights." FML
Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing, "Happy Birthday." FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I was throwing a surprise birthday party for my friend. As we all hid in the dark waiting for him to arrive, I unexpectedly sneezed so loudly that I scared everyone, and they jumped out before he had even finished unlocking the front door. FML
Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML
Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML
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Top comments
kevinn95 0
Ohhh no they stole ur surprise party?
ddddddddg 9
That's awful! I'm so sorry op! Happy birthday (:
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Comments (97)
midnight21 8
When you assume, it makes an ass out of you and me.
THE_A_TEEN 28
So, you admit you're an Ass?
THE_A_TEEN 28
That was for #62, not for OP.
ICastillo 25
Maybe they were setting up the surprise party when you walked in early they panicked and ran....
accionargles 5
You can't deny it wasn't a surprise though!
Omnomnomnivore 10
They were just helping you make room for all the new stuff you're going to get for your birthday
CaptTeemo 10
Maybe they were those kinds of robbers that leaves stuff there.
Lull_lyre 0
they stole your surprise party!?
RedPillSucks 33
We gonna party like it's your birthday We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday We gon' rob you like it's your birthday And you know we don't give a ****, it's your birthday @Valdrek "We gon' burgle you like it's your birthday" doesn't have the same ring to it.
hateevryone 15
Damn & on your birthday!
nani_rox 9
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!