Today, my mom invited my asshole cousin to my daughter's 10th birthday party, saying that this is the best time for me to apologize for having him imprisoned 3 years ago. He’s the same cousin who held my daughter hostage after the cops cornered him in a drug bust. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to see my house trespassed, vandalized, and looted by my cousin, whom I have always hated, and his friends. As I get the cops to haul them to jail, he got kicked out from home for the Nth time and said my mom invited them. When I confronted my mom about it, she dismissed it saying, "He's family!" FML
Today, I went to my daughter's best friends birthday party, only to find my ex there, who is now sleeping with the mother, who has a fiancé in prison, who isn't going to be happy when he gets out. Most awkward kids birthday party ever. FML
Today, it appears that the cousin who burglarized my house and threatened to kill my wife, daughter, and me during a meth binge is more welcome at a family reunion than we are. We were assured last year by family that this wouldn't happen, because we are "good people who have wronged no one." FML
Today, I realized my cousin is an asshole. A cousin that I was close to who got engaged. I was excited to be part of her wedding day, since she was a big part of mine. Months later, on Instagram, she was sharing reels from her bachelorette party. When I asked her why she didn't invite me, she said she forgot. FML
Today, I realized that my husband's family hates me for something I did 10 years ago. When I was 18. I’m so done apologizing for it. My daughter does not deserve to see her mother treated like this. FML
Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring my obnoxious ex to my birthday party. FML
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML
Today, I got together a surprise party for my mom's birthday. I invited all her friends and her douchebag boyfriend who I don't get along with. When my mom got home, he took credit and got her friends to back him up with bribing. My mom said I'm selfish and horrible for not trying for her. FML
Today, at a family gathering, I was talking to my uncle about my "awful neighbor who smokes pot all day while listening to shitty bro country, and tries to cover the smell with cheap incense." After a moment of awkward silence, I remembered my cousin, his son, is my neighbor. He was more offended by the fact that I'd insulted his taste in music. FML
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Top comments
Echo 8802 14
I'M SORRY BUT YOUR MOM IS ******* RIDICULOUS.
arandomperson97 19
I would not allow them inside the house or on your property and have police waiting on scene. There’s a line and they have crossed it. I’m sorry, OP. Consider getting a restraining order.
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Comments (35)
Echo 8802 14
I'M SORRY BUT YOUR MOM IS ******* RIDICULOUS.
Summaria 10
Don't be sorry for the truth.
arandomperson97 19
I would not allow them inside the house or on your property and have police waiting on scene. There’s a line and they have crossed it. I’m sorry, OP. Consider getting a restraining order.
jkjorn 18
OP should consider a restraining order on his/her mother too!
RichardPencil 32
That would make him your daughter’s first cousin, once removed. He needs to be removed again — this time from your house right now! But, seriously, folks, let’s focus on what’s really important here: Did he being her a really nice gift?
rodfergie 18
He probably made her a really nice shiv in prison.
ArtLover 13
I'd consider a family upgrade, you know, preferably without the crazy factor.
ChakatBlackstar 29
To use a dated cliche, "Awww, hell no!" Kid's birthdays are never a good time to handle ANY family drama, particularly a kid that young. Also, when someone holds a member of your family hostage, no one has to apologize to them and you definitely don't invite them to the birthday party of the family member they held hostage!
NostalgiaFreak9 43
By the sound of this story, I take it you never filed a restraining order against your cousin after that stunt. If you didn't, now would be a good time to do so. And I recommend cutting your mother out of your life.
KittyMack 13
No! No! No! No! No! Dump your idiotic, victim blaming, mind game playing mother and tell evil cousin the cops will be called if you see him anywhere near you or your kid. Failing to return fifty bucks you loaned him- sure, maybe he could expect a second chance. Puts your kid in danger- no second chance. That is a one-strike-&-you're-out type of thing if ever I heard one.
my2centsworth 15
I accidentally reported this comment. It was unintentional.
sunshine1421 14
is there any history of drug use in your family
Mungolikecandy 19
I would draw a line in the sand and tell her that either she retract his invitation or other arrangements for her birthday will be made. She is your daughter, not your mothers and as such you get to make the decisions.
DanielleinDC 34
Oh, hell no! You need to make it clear to your mom and to your cousin that he's not welcome at your house at all and that you are not about to apologize for having a man imprisoned after he threatened your daughter. Hopefully it's not too late to get a restraining order against him.