Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML
Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML
Today, my Dad gave me my birthday card. The envelope was blank, as was the card, and the £0.25 price tag was still on. He was fully aware of all these things, but handed it to me and said, "By the way, I didn't write anything." Happy birthday to me. FML
Life is a roller coaster
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Top comments
Serial 2
psh, take it for a spin anyway
kellster 2
Why would they give you such an expensive car??? Buy your own car, you're an adult!
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Comments (208)
sneakjoint 0
hahahah your dad's an ass
a_boat 0
Your dad is awesome.
skierguy 0
Not an FML, and nobody should ever get a car for a birthday present anyways.
MangyBum 0
The majority of you are children.
Broc 0
This is **** My Life, not I'm A Spoiled Piece of Shit...
Nakedsquirrel 5
#31, if you were my kid, you'd be giving me the sore shoulder. You'd also find all of your shit thrown to the curb afterward. Come to think of it, I'd make you nurse your bruises somewhere else, also. Buying oneself a car instead of for your child is not being selfish, you spoiled ****.
ellebell 0
bahahaha i love your dad
mattmag 0
Buy your own car - if you can afford the bloody insurance.
Dusa_fml 0
You don't deserve a nice car like that.
roxygurrly 0
Aw im sorry but your dad sounds really funny :) I asked my dad to get me a car for my 16th birthday and a few days later i found a toy sports car with a bow on it and a tag that said "Happy Birthday!"