Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML
Today, a girl in my glass was complaining that her neck hurt. I thought if I forcibly turned her head side-to-side, it would instantly fix it like in the movies. It didn't. She was in so much pain, she couldn't even talk, and had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my roommate whipped my face with a frozen chicken cutlet. My cheek is now the size of the chicken cutlet, and now he won't drive me to the hospital because it's "too funny to look at." FML
Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML
Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML
Today, at school, I wore a back brace because I have fractured vertebrae. During first period, a girl tapped me on the back to ask me a question. It made a "knocking on wood" sound. She looked at me like I was a freak. FML
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML
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Top comments
littlec_fml 0
no the ice is for that burn she just gave you
blah_blah_shity 0
i laughed out loud for that one hehe.
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Comments (32)
iiNsTinK 0
pwned by a school nurse. epic fail.
sftbalchic_5 0
Awwwe!
joanjett 0
yeah this made me cheer up a bit considering my close friend died in his sleep last night... but still lmao
DumDum999 0
that's halirious
ArrickMorris 4
Lmfao
ArrickMorris 4
Btw don't feel bad I've done that before…I was drunk as hell though and I had a lip in which I swallowed and thew up
doglover100 29
Burn!
FMLSpongebob 6
Maybe you contracted the ugly. I had it once. My friend told me a story and it helped: There once was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end. Hope I helped.
cxex 23
#3 This post is from 2009 a lot of the original comments got deleted or modded..