Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my credit card was maxed out to the penny, all thanks to purchases made on an online wine store. Apparently my mother was thirsty enough to steal from her own son. FML
Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML
Today, I woke up after taking a sleeping pill for the first time. I started in on a number of chores, including paying bills, when I noticed a new charge on my online credit card bill from 1am. I bought $120 worth of meat from an infomercial. It's non-refundable. I'm vegetarian. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover. Reading my texts and emails, I then sort of remembered that in my drunken haze I'd booked a non-refundable flight to the wrong city for the same day. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I found a gift card under my bed that I lost a few months ago for $400 to a store that went out of business last week. FML
Today, after waking up with the worst hangover in years, I got a bank notification that my credit card was maxed out. Apparently, I bought a $1500 plane ticket for my ex-girlfriend to come over this weekend. She’s in South America. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. Several hours later I realize that I can't find my wallet. After looking all over my house and then the store parking lot, I had my credit cards cancelled. On the drive home, I feel something under me. It was my wallet. FML
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
Today, my fiancé and I got a joint account recently, but when I got home he was on the phone to the bank claiming our credit card number was cloned, because of the ridiculous number of random purchases. I checked my online banking. It was all just my normal buying habits. FML
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Top comments
nancem 7
Lots of snuggies and sham wows
that1guyyy 12
Betty crocker's complete set is awesome!
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Comments (144)
sinfullangel 0
You sooo have to tell us what it is!!!
shawnagreenbean1 9
Ahahahaha you better come back and tell us what it was!
Blueskiesforme 10
If you noticed the next morning why didn't you just call them and cancel the order before it shipped? If it already shipped I'm sure you can return it.
Kiyaralovestolol 14
Enjoy all 700 of your shake weights (:
CharresBarkrey 16
$.39 shake weights, hot damn!
taylorseeey 6
Let's hope you gave them the right address to send what ever you ordered.
mexig60 1
maybe u bought a shit ton of stompeez
cbayley 1
That sounds exciting
Deeznutzhairy 7
Haha you get drunk and watch the shopping center (x
nativebeachbum 4
I love a surprise!!!
PseudoLink 1
Let us know what it is!