Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
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Top comments
VVeetard 8
milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...
victoriaax3 0
Atleast it wasn't a hobo .
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Comments (365)
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
lol WTF
texas1992 0
what's up sexy damn you cute.
itsme3623 6
How very Freudian.
purple_sarah88 0
Some adults like to experiment with that but he should have asked you first! That must have been a shock!
TalkinSmack 6
that's funny as hell
TeABaGG 0
GOT MILK?
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
lol ^
abceasyas123abc 12
I'm surprised someone didn't come out with this sooner, lol.
1personinthiswor 0
What 9 year old kid still breastfeeds?
1personinthiswor 0
Ah, my bad, nevermind. That worried me a second. XD
theydrick 0
it's your fault for having boobs and a perverted boyfriend
shanbang 0
wow he needs help!
ChelsBearr 0
Haha, gotta love that awkward moment when you look down and notice it's your boyfriend breast feeding; not your son. :)
o76923 8
If he wanted to try it, he should've just asked you (and left the mom part out of it). What a creeper.