Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
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Top comments
VVeetard 8
milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...
victoriaax3 0
Atleast it wasn't a hobo .
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Comments (365)
kinsington 1
That's kinda funny actually. And kudos to you op for breastfeeding :)
boycrazy30007 12
My boyfriend did the same when I had my first son. Let's just say I think he liked it more than my baby did.
ghostpwner_fml 0
well?did you let him continue?
iseeisee 1
Why is your 9 month old baby still breast feeding? A little old don't you think?
TechFire 25
No. You're supposed to do it until they're 2 years old, but of course this is America and the breast is oversexualized to the point that we've forgotten what it really exists for.
ranamile 0
Awkward possum!
kcangel0414 0
What a sick pervert
lawnmowerwheeli 5
Think of it you gave him an experience he never got
Momo_Moonlight 25
Because your 9 month old will crawl out of his bed and into yours, undress you and start breast feeding. Right.
Klosekiller 17
At least it wasn't Jim Carrey
Luchesi 7
das a real ass nigga