Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
123roomielover
United States
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff
Hyde Park, United States
Rude awakening
Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML
D:
Paris, France
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
meh beard
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Bowmanville, Canada
I'm awake
Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML
Secretlypossessed
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Frederik
You absolure freak
Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
gold3nshow3r
Roanoke, United States
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Homeless for the holidays
Farmington, United States
Pyrotechnics
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
keimA
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Top comments
mmyoung979 14
Jesus Christ, that's scary.
ItsMeDiegoG 8
At least she wasn't sacrificing you to Satan.
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Comments (123)
uniannonymous 5
Scary to you amusing to others. Lol
shanannygians07 28
Make pagan symbols on their walls in glow in the dark paint! I'm sure they'll move out fast
WhiteCrimson 23
Well seems like your roommate thinks your one hell if a sinner. Really weird of your roommate to do that. Hectic shit!
jddrinker 6
Did you punch him in the face??
sehrgutmann 19
You can't be baptised against your will.
rec_chem 22
I hope you beat the holy hell out of him...
likemice 6
"What if someone was possessed by Jesus?" - Google
whathefuckislife 11
orange is the new black
CLT_420 13
at least he was trying to do something nice
Tannasgh 22
Need to arrange for him to wake up with you standing over him in a black hooded robe, with black face paint and glowing eyes chanting the charm of making from Excalibur..."Anál nathrach, orth’ bháis’s bethad, do chél dénmha." He won't stick around long after that :)