Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I walked out of my boyfriend's house to see my car window smashed in and my steering wheel cover stolen. I was only staying at his place because there had been a rash of vehicle break-ins in my neighborhood. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me. How? His other girlfriend crashed her car into mine and had him pick her up. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read, "Stop banging my boyfriend." I haven't had anyone in my love life for over a year. FML
Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML
Today, I had a very sweet and romantic love note brutally scratched into the door of my brand new car. It was addressed to Cindy. Cindy lives next door. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
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Top comments
myname_fml 0
How do you know the poster isn't a female? Plus, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a virgin in college. Just saying.
LemonLolly 10
You don't have to be a non-virgin to be a cheater
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Comments (32)
User57777 13
No comments on this one…
LemonLolly 10
You don't have to be a non-virgin to be a cheater
cadillacgal79 32
How should OP react to the tampons than? Be glad it isn't tar and chicken feathers?
kittykat1501 31
You can cheat without sex
royallymessedup 23
Tampons are expensive - nice of someone to give you a few freebies!