Anonymous
Werribee, Australia
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
life insurance for 1
Encino, United States
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
blueberry_hill
United States
Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML
DrtySnchez
Statham, United States
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
todaddy
United Kingdom
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
good big sister?
Sault Sainte Marie, Canada
Sleep demon
Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML
Anonymous
Back-seat parenting
Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML
Anonymous
Williamsburg, United States
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
Anonymous
Scottsdale, United States
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
How could you?
Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML
Top comments
amadeclton 27
Time for counseling?
Marie54321 19
Sounds like the beginnings of a serial killer...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
2ru 14
OP if you don't get that corrected it will get worse. Good Luck
NellieeNell 18
Trying to be like Stewie Griffin I see.
sweetlysarcastic 3
Rosemarys baby?
brand125 17
30 - i didnt know they taught pillow smothering in any martial arts, but ya know..
thes7274473 19
What did you do to him? And what did you let him watch where he would learn to smother people in their sleep with a pillow?
ThePaperDragon 31
It is the little ones that you must be weary of! They are never suspects.
brendejafulable 41
What did you do to make him so upset.
worldclassrager 41
News anchor: The smother has tried to strike again but was found out my his mom as and was sent to his room...
nevaehreed 2
There's obviously either bad people around him a lot of the time or he's watching too many movies that he shouldn't be. Don't punish him it will only make it worse, get help.
quickit 24
Talk to him now. You may not get a chance to later.