gaggin
Beverly Hills, United States
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
somuchforthat
Australia
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Spiderchick
Germany
Hmmmm, breakfast
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Anonymous
Littleton, United States
Top o' the mornin' to ya
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
igotpride
United States
Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
HighasaCloud
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
ThatsIncentive
Granite Bay, United States
Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML
dirtbikeguy
Chicago, United States
Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML
BurnItOff
Melbourne, Australia
The passenger
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
dre_bro11
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Act of kindness
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Top comments
Nutz101 7
I have to stop eating while reading FML's
jojimugo 20
If you swallow 8 a night, you should do yourself a favor and move out of the amazon river
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Comments (144)
viagradoesntwork 7
The spider must have really liked your breath
natalalaliee 9
Mmm, protein.
tj5810 21
Spider: "Today, I went to what I thought would be a cool new hangout. My night turned into a nightmare when I got trapped in razor wire inside a dark hole. FML"
alphatoomega 21
Interesting twist on the FML turnaround...
VScpu 3
I was thinking the same thing. I was going to post a fml for the spider.
xchrismario 4
That is gross
This_FML_Girl 12
(to the tune of amazing spiderman) spidereater, spidereater, eats all the spiders during her sleep, they get stuck between her braces she is spidereater
simoncat 11
There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die. There was an old lady who swallowed a spider. It wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die.
volklskis 7
Oh god! Rinse with listerine!
livinglikekatlin 1
Ew..
Astronaut01 11
Its actually 7 a night. And you are never any further than 5 feet from a spider
DracoSpirita 21
Unless you're. You know. In a lake or pool. Or in a car.
CharresBarkrey 16
Both myths.
PhishloverA 14
How did it taste?