Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
astralvagan 20
That's so immature. Doesn't he know that you have to fart directly on the eye, not the pillow?
unknown_user5566 27
Tell him you were disappointed too, when you found out that his size 14 shoes didn't actually mean he has a big package. Oh, myths are fun.
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Comments (135)
FlyingPie 17
That stinks.
lgslayer 1
HEYO!!!!!
FlyingPie 17
That escalated quickly..
fairymacabre 7
Loool
unknown_user5566 27
Tell him you were disappointed too, when you found out that his size 14 shoes didn't actually mean he has a big package. Oh, myths are fun.
bazzer69 3
No. No it's not.
unknown_user5566 27
38- In the story, OP's boyfriend was disappointed because of a silly belief. In my comment, OP would have also been disappointed because of a silly belief. Seems pretty relevant to me. Plus, y'know, it was a joke.
zee16 4
Dude your a ****** moron
Zomg_Okay 27
Dude, you're a ******* moron.* If you're going to call other people's intelligence into question, at least do it right.
RinaRina 9
Or trade him with a blue eye ;D
Dory123 9
Is he serious?? How does that kind of idea come to anyone with a brain?
iOceanus 18
Because they have a brain, they have ideas, ridiculous or not.
mell123_fml 4
Fart on his pillow and see how dissapointed he is when he wakes up with an eye relatable to the colour of an uncooked chicken.
unknown_user5566 27
Oops. This was a double comment that I am now editing so I don't have duplicate posts. Sorry, guys.
bestnameright 14
How do you not get thumbed down when this happens to you... You legend!
unknown_user5566 27
54- Haha, I am sure it'll end up getting thumbed down in due time. :)
perdix 31
Wouldn't that give you brown-eye?
olpally 33
*vomits* vomit orgy!! Hahaha!! :D no?
perdix 31
#47, if it's red, you need to take that boy to the proctologist; all other colors, psychiatrist.
j_cat187 20
Ma fart's gonna give you a black eye! *pootBLAM!
pradip 26
No, that would indeed give her stink eye
Celina_Lune 20
That's immature, disrespectful, and nasty.
free2speak 14
I agree. And I don't necessarily agree with break up with your BF posts on here but this one... This requires some serious revaluation on OP's part. Is she sure she wants to be dating a guy whose thought process works like this?
carminecris89 13
24 & 55 I agree with you guys. It's disgusting. I don't understand how you could be with someone so gross, disrespectful, and immature.
poetrywriter12 6
25,55,96 and 106, I agree with your agreement
cloudygirl5 16
Mhahahahahahahaha!!!!!
SavannahJanee 6
Well the good news is you dont have pink eye!
scr_sensei 14
You should have told him you switched pillows last night, just to make him sweat a little