Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML
Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML
Today, at around 12 a.m. I went to bed, happy that I get to sleep in because I had nowhere be in the morning. Sadly that came to an end when I woke up around 7 a.m. to my mom coming home and screaming because she saw a mouse. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML
Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML
Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML
Today, after my dad insisted that the trash go out last night, even though I always take it out in the morning because of the stray dog problem in our neighborhood, I took it anyway to appease him. He woke me up banging on my door and screaming because the strays had thrown the trash all over the road in the night, and he blames me. FML
Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML
Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
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Top comments
RitzyHoke 0
Your dad ROCKS. Period.
lottofee 0
muhaha i love your dad!
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Comments (206)
kalista_fml 0
your dad is amazing. enough said.
LittleMiss1 0
Ouch...
GabsAlot829 0
hahahhaha your dad sounds amazing
magichateball 0
@ #89 instead of bitching at us "adults" work on your spelling.....just saying
xxlillyxx 0
That is why you are included in the "To whom it may concern".
fml_276 0
lmao! you're dad is awesome. hopefully you've learned your lesson, lol. i know i would have!
leeny_fml 2
Your dad is a jerk. Depending on where it hits, it CAN break a finger. They can also pop blood vessels which are almost as painful.
slem_fml 0
Now put one on his partners ******.
haxxor 0
Your dad is awesome!
sparxva 12
Thank your dad for helping you to get to school on time. And leave the mousetrap somewhere he's sure to find it. You could even buy a few more and leave them over the floor of the bathroom for the next morning.
AlexZB 0
your dad is awesome