Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML
Today, I was feeling sick so I decided to lay down. As soon as I did, I felt the sudden urge to throw up, so I ran to the bathroom. When I bent over the toilet to throw up, my glasses fell in along with my vomit. Before I had a chance to retrieve them, I threw up again. And again. FML
Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Erindub 0
Ewwww! Thats foul
sweatnut 0
that sucks. maybe you should of just spat in the sink.
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Comments (60)
TrollTrollTroll 0
shit [shit] Show IPA noun, verb, shit or shat, shit⋅ting, interjection Vulgar. –noun 1. excrement; feces. 2. an act of defecating; evacuation. 3. the *****. diarrhea. 4. Slang. pretense, lies, exaggeration, or nonsense. 5. Slang. something inferior or worthless. 6. Slang. a selfish, mean, or otherwise contemptible person. 7. Slang. narcotic drugs, esp. heroin or marijuana. 8. Slang. possessions, equipment, mementos, etc.; stuff. –verb (used without object) 9. to defecate. –verb (used with object) 10. Slang. to exaggerate or lie to. –interjection 11. Slang. (used to express disgust, disappointment, frustration, contempt, or the like). —Idioms 12. give a shit, Slang. to care; be concerned. 13. no shit, (used to express amazement, incredulity, or derision). 14. up shit creek, Slang. in a desperate or hopeless situation; in serious trouble. Also, up ***** creek, up shit creek without a paddle. Origin: (v.) var. (with short i from ptp. or n.) of earlier shite, ME shiten, OE scītan; cf. MLG, MD schiten (D schijten), OHG skīzan (G scheissen); (n.) re-formation from the v., or continuation of OE scite (in place names)
blastvortex 4
That first sentence is quite nauseating, OP. ~_~# And yeah, I hate it when people pull that kind of crap. You know someone needs a good slap in the face for that.
silisand_fml 0
The cake is a lie.
smartalek 2
troll.
rmasterpros 0
ewwww
david12345 0
Its nauseated not nauseous
screwedeitherway 0
This has been covered, but here's a thorough argument: (Question)- "From John David Hamilton: For many years I have been irritated by the misuse of the word nauseous which is all too often used when the user means nauseated. I was taught that when one is sick one feels nauseated but is often nauseous to others. I first heard this used by well-off but poorly educated New Yorkers but it has spread everywhere. Can you explain please and tell me whether nauseous in its newly offensive use is acceptable?" (Abridged Answer)- "The distinction that has been taught is that nauseous means 'causing nausea' but nauseated means 'feeling or suffering from nausea'. So if a person says 'I am nauseous', a purist might reply 'Yes, you are; misusing words like that makes your listeners feel sick'. What seems to have happened in the US is that a new usage grew up some time before World War II in which nauseous meant the same as nauseated: sick to the stomach." "Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage says firmly: 'Any handbook that tells you that nauseous cannot mean ‘nauseated’ is out of touch with the contemporary language. In current usage it seldom means anything else'. The new edition of the American Heritage Dictionary concurs: 'Since there is a lot of evidence to show that nauseous is widely used to mean ‘feeling sick,’ it appears that people use nauseous mainly in the sense in which it is considered incorrect'. But, as MDEU points out, there is subtlety in the way it is used. When nauseous means 'feeling physically sick', it usually appears after a verb such as feel, become, get or grow: 'Doctor, I’m feeling nauseous'. When it means 'causing nausea', it is much more likely to be used before a noun: 'To conceal the nauseous flavour of the raw spirit they added aromatic herbs and spices'." "It’s an interesting example of the way in which the language can change within a generation or so...Think of it as language evolution in action."
LemonStarship 5
Was it the green kind, or the nasty brown swirl kind???
librax510 0
ewww. gross!
jonny2x4 0
It sounds like you're not sure who dropped that deuce. Do you have roommates? Siblings? Did you host a party the night before? BTW, whoever did it did not forget to flush it. Because it was so huge, they were afraid of overflowing the toilet so they left it to marinate/soften up. Also, they wanted to stop and admire such an epic effort. Maybe they took a pic of it and posted it somewhere. Look up "one guy, one pot" or something like that.
mylifeiscrazi 1
That's gross Lemon :/
deejay7220 1
So it never occured to you to spit in the sink?