Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker and I were swamped with coffee orders. I told him I would "take care of the blacks", and a customer who only heard that sentence screamed at me for several minutes about racism. FML
Today, I heard a man call a girl a r*tard. Furious, I stormed up to him and demanded he apologize for using such a vile slur. The girl started laughing her ass off and said, "Mind your own business, r*tard." FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML
Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML
Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML
Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML
Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nescology 11
Awww hopefully he understood when you explained it to him OP :)
danthehuman 29
Always look up, down, left, right, behind you, behind that suspicious potted plant, and under your bed before saying any word that is similar in sounding to the "N" word.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
oJoy 11
hope he understood after op
coldwar252 13
I've never heard that word before, and neither has many others commenting, sorry op but you deserved it
SarahJacobs 1
You should think before you speak.
Axipiter 24
This definitely reminds me of the episode of Southpark with Stan's dad.
hotshitt 3
That's not at all what knobbing is
sem2183 13
Any girl that would actually put out to a guy doing that to her honestly deserves whatever she gets. I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that a guy does that in order to get some or that a girl would actually put out. Hmmmm.
ShenaniganNinja 20
Negging is suppose to be subtle. Not direct insults, and only done if it makes sense. Usually it's back handed compliments like "I really like your hair; is that it's natural color?" and even that is pretty brazen for negging. If you can tell someone is negging, they're not doing it right.
soulangelnowings 10
dude... that term is pretty close to the other one. rather than muttering something why didn't you just take action. be a super hero next time lol
mockingjay87 4
What the hell is a negger?
iluvpeanutbutter 22
Really? You couldn't Google it? You couldn't READ THE OTHER GODDAMN COMMENTS that explain what a negger is?!!
Octosauce 8
And that's what happens when you use British slang.
reallitup2 6
you can tell OP is British.