Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML
Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
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Top comments
derangedplanet 23
And the sibling rivalry starts.
clevergirl98 20
Hopefully you didn't have to clean up that mess to..
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Comments (45)
Saso_fml 35
Sisterly bonding time
limitles 14
3-month olds dont even puke. They spit up a bit after they've eaten and it's just milk....
writerchic85 26
It's still fluids coming out of another beings stomach. It's gross either way.
Cirrodin 6
We were on a road trip with my daughter who was about 4 months old at the time, and after stopping at the hotel we went out to dinner. While we were waiting for our table she threw up all down my front and hers. she had a spare outfit to change into, and I got sit through dinner with vomit in my bra. Needless to say I didn't eat much. l
airassault 16
Dude... Puke Happens!
Xion0014 20
She pukes on you, you puke on her... The rivalry starts early!
worldclassrager 41
I think it's better you didn't have the kiss on the lips during that time
Jethco 15
Moral of today's lesson: babies are evil alien demons... don't touch.
AndyKeselogano 8
I helped out at a daycare. I was puked on many times.
Sanosukeskitten 22
I have a 9 month old, and she's puked/spit up quite a few times when I picked her up after eating just to burp her :P If someone picks her up I warn them ahead of time that she just ate. Course now they've learned to ask if she's eaten before picking her up!
shartmydarts 8
Is it just me, or has everyone else in the world seen enough videos of this exact thing happening on like AFV or whatever to know to not ******* hold a baby above your head to open mouth kiss it? Lesson learned, you ******* disgrace