Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML
Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, my 7-month-old spit up on the floor. My 3-year-old puts their hands in it, sniffed, and puked. Then sticks their hands in their own puke, sniffed, and puked again. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML
Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
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Top comments
derangedplanet 23
And the sibling rivalry starts.
clevergirl98 20
Hopefully you didn't have to clean up that mess to..
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Comments (45)
deminchic 22
You should never kiss babies on the mouth anyway.. Even if you recently brushed your teeth, you introduce foreign mouth bacteria that can be bad for the kid's teeth/gums. It's okay if you brush the baby's gums with a soft bristled toothbrush, but most don't bother until teeth have broken through
halfawannabe 14
Oo I honestly think I'dve dropped her.
LizzReptile 10
This happened to my now, ex husband, I had been breastfeeding. I had just finished and was lifting her to burp her, he had just gotten home and thought i was playing with her, her scooped up the baby and lifted her in the air and went to kiss her head.....she projectile vomited breast milk into his mouth. I had to clean them both up while laughing so hard I almost peed.
DemonBoy1988 22
OK, I just puked
JustDuckenGreat 4
Well turn about is fair play don't feel bad for puking on her!
T1A2Z3 35
Why was your mouth open and near her mouth if you wanted to kiss her?