Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML
Today, I was working at the theater as an usher. A man came up to me and gave me his ticket. At the same time, he took a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML
Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
asiancosmo 7
trifling ho
xxmuzicfreakxx 5
Well if he was a good boyfriend, he would've told her to shut up and watch the movie.
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Comments (173)
docscientist 10
Who gets grossed out by someone sneezing?
gators1995 30
Germaphobics and anyone really. Especially if their snot lands on you.
Rocky007 15
Ah, the old sneeze till you drive the girlfriend away then snatch the boyfriend trick. Hadn't seen that one in awhile.
skyeyez9 25
That was when I would have excused myself to the snack bar in the lobby to buy an extra large coke, then accidentally spill the entire cup on her head and hopefully inside her purse.
C0N71NG3NCY 6
He should ditch you for her then. Clearly she's superior to you as she is a better schemer, a trait which will no doubt greatly advantage any children they have together. Also your parents decided to give you a retarded name in grossly misspelling "Hannah", therefore you are equally unsuitable based on that factor.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
*Sneeze* Sorry I'm allergic to judgmental people!
jbsington 8
Didn't anyone see the irony in this comment? Come on.
apollo16 6
Your a jerk! Her boyfriend is obviously classy if he chose her over that *****! Didn't your mother ever tell you "if you don't have anything nice to say... DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!"
emogiggles 0
Should have Slap the shit out of her I would have
NatalieMalik 0
Wow rlly wat weerdo
ice723 5
did it turn into a 3 way
MIDMichele 5
Oh she a sneaky bitch >.
MidnaLink 35
Uh! Can we say "SMACK"!
kay_sr 9
that's the case a baseball bat can turn helpful...