Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML
Today, I was working at the theater as an usher. A man came up to me and gave me his ticket. At the same time, he took a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML
Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
asiancosmo 7
trifling ho
xxmuzicfreakxx 5
Well if he was a good boyfriend, he would've told her to shut up and watch the movie.
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Comments (173)
linkinpark98 24
What if she said: "Oh sorry, I'm allergic to nagging b*tches."
EmoPotato 3
How is op a naggy bitch? For being alloyed that she couldn't watch a movie that she (or her boyfriend) paid to see because the person beside her was too inconsiderate to be quite? I it was real sneezing, she should have left the theater, assuming it was fake sneezing the girl is just flat out rude and in my opinion, should have been asked to leave for purposely being disruptive.
hoohaa17 2
alloyed ? :/
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
11-It's not hard for me to feel annoyed by this comment. Not only is there something wrong with your comment., but according to the FML all she said was she wanted to exchange seats. I don't see anywhere in the FML that concludes she was as YOU say "nagging".
Vertas 10
That's HILARIOUS and Brilliant
notsorandomguy 18
Girls are getting smarter... But you should have tried farting and coughing and sneezing on her. FYL though.
perdix 31
She was probably allergic to your Kim Kardashian or Britney Spears perfume.
marzipanimal 15
Kim kardashian actually smells quite amazing.(:
amypatel21 2
Haha that would be hilarious!!
Happybooger 4
Did he flirt back!?
KaelaKhaotic 5
BITCH FIGHT!
gators1995 30
Its about to be a what??? GIRL FIGHT!!!! >=-O
perdix 31
Why would you switch seats and not move several rows away? I can't imagine sitting one seat away from a sneezer would be vastly better than sitting right next to them.
micahsmommy 13
Could have been a sold out theatre so that's the best she could do...
perdix 31
Switch theaters and watch it on a different screen, or go see a different movie. They are all basically the same.
KiddNYC1O 22
They already paid, perdix!
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
If you don't sit through at least half the movie, you can get refund... Or at least where I live you can.
perdix 31
Movie theaters are happy to give you rain checks -- another chance for you to buy overpriced soda and popcorn.
KiddNYC1O 22
Definitely overpriced.
Krysk_fml 0
-gasp- one of perdixs' comments were thumbs down
SkyDevil 0
Switch movie theatres because someone next to you is sneezing seems like a slight over reaction.. Just grab her face and do a Peter griffin fart.. That'll stop her sneezing, might also give her pink eye too... :D
xgetxbentx 13
You can't always just switch theaters, usually if the same movie is playing in another theater it started at a different time. Then maybe they really wanted to see this particular movie and didn't have the time and/or money to go again. I agree moving one seat over is pointless, but you can't always just switch rows or theaters either . She should have went and asked a manager if they could get a refund so they could see it without this distraction if that was the case though. I mean had the sneezes been real, the girl couldn't help it, but it's still really distracting. Most theaters will at least try to give you a coupon of some sort if they can't refund the money completely.
kat2812 1
why would you want your bf to have to sit next to someone who won't stop sneezing? i say YDI, should have both moved somewhere else completely....what a bitch though. it takes a lot of skankiness to hit on someone else's bf right in front of them.
jwebster 8
She would have left bald! I would have started pulling her hairs out one by one.
MissOrandan 9
It hurts more when you pull loads at the same time..
Daiyuki 5
I wonder how long that would actually take? How fast can you pluck a hair x a few million = ???
Dilwann 27
It actually hurts more one at a time. You know, in total.