Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
Today, I went to the movies and accidentally walked into the wrong theater. I sat through an entire horror film, thinking it was supposed to be a rom-com. I kept waiting for the romantic twist. It never came. Satanic haunted dolls or whatever they were did, though. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
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Top comments
nuked 0
Maybe get him kicked out? Idiot...
WickedAwsum 0
Well #1, we don't like you. You could have gotten a person who worked there to get him removed or something, or move seats?
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Comments (255)
were_giraffe 2
talk to the usher... they usually kick people out for that or call the police... hey at least he'd have a place to spend the night for his crimes right?
mmodified 0
lolfail.
Jennika 0
one.. FAKE.... two: Get up and move you stupid ****! it's your own damn fault. braindead. ahahahhahaha u fail. I hope he follows u home next time.
BlaBlaBla_95 0
you weren't missing much. that movie was terrible anyways.
tiedyejedi 0
Sorry, but I agree that YDI for not having the man removed. To those saying that it was a big premiere and probably sold out - so what? The movie's already being ruined by a crazy smelly guy MASTURBATING behind you - how much worse can it get? Go get a manager and at the very least you can score free tickets for the regular showing the next day. Also, I bet the theater wasn't packed, $100 says the seats around the masturbating hobo were empty.
Asia_Aneka 0
I'm abit upset that a homeless man can afford to go to a movie andI can't. Anyways, maybe he got excited about Tom Hanks. Stop judging people lol
ShortyBBangin 0
you really couldn't have get up and moved to another seat? I hate people who complain but dont do shit about it. you deserve it.
annis_fml 0
So I have a question: why didn't you just leave? Are you so cheap that you'd rather sit there next to a creepy masturbating hobo for 2 hours just so you wouldn't waste $10??
MissCherrywhipx 0
LMAO! "Poor hobo" "The hobo may have been removed" Hilarious. Must be annoying to hear him groan when there's a moment of dramatic silence in the film though. Respect to the hobo that lasted 2 and a 1/2 hours.
s_t_e_p_h 0
Move.