Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, I have a horrible hangover. My mom also decided it was a good day to go hiking. I ended up puking on the trail. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML
Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realize she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. Five minutes later I shat and vomited myself. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML
Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
repyourcliche 0
i hope Chunks is not your father's nickname.
ladysandy_fml 0
your name mothapuka make me laugh so hard hahaha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (39)
jollyjam1 2
Her puking from doing drugs the night before is just punishment. Make her run around the mall and eat some really greasy food to ratchet up the punishment.
yeahaveragelife 0
hahaa this faaaaaaaaaaaails. you live in dubai, that suuuucks.
ravenscorne 0
It's great how your own mother is throwing up and instead of going back home and waiting until she feels better to go to the mall, you just act like nothing happens and make her go to the mall with a vomit bag. Some daughter you are.
fishrocker 0
hahaha
pink_pulse 2
I actually live in Dubai and can give you a real account. Drugs are a no-no. But they're not gonna test you unless there's a reason for suspicion. And the many cases you're referring to are like 5. In one the guy actually had weed stuck to his shoes. Seriously. But pretty much everything else is good to go. They sell alcohol in Dubai Duty Free and anyone can purchase a case of whatever they like so long as they're over 21. Muslim or not you can drink at bars, etc. so long as you've got ID, and sometimes, not even that. You can buy as many drinks as you want, and as with any place, make a spectacle of yourself and you get kicked out. If her mom is foreign and puking she probably got a lot of odd looks but I doubt anyone actually approached her. If you're pregnant and unmarried it can be difficult but you can get birth control pills at any pharmacy off the shelf and condoms are available everywhere. Use them. Oh, and people are confusing Dubai for the United Arab Emirates as a whole. Other emirates have strict policies but Dubai is pretty chill. Just don't do anything stupid like you wouldn't in other countries where you're a guest.
omargosh 1
number one is a winner. and would you prefer it without the bag? remember that at one point she blew you out her butt.
xSusannah 0
LMAO!!! outta her butt?!
Norwegian_Wood 4
Ewww. That's so disgusting that she'd just walk around puking in a bag. **** your life, and the lives of anyone that had to be around her while she was throwing up. I know people throw up, but I'm the kind of person, if I heard it, or saw it, I'd be sick too. x_x
pink_pulse 2
Possibly. But that's kinda exaggerated and again, I wonder why they were checking the guy. The only thing that I've seen them make people do is scan their luggage on the way out. That's it. Pre-marital sex is against the religion for sure (like in many other religions) but these days it's becoming pretty common. But birth control of any kind isn't banned because even if you're married you'll need it. Family planning is promoted. But considering the number of foreigners in the country they've got to make this stuff available. People having sex on the beach will be jailed for just like they would in any other country. But at home or in a hotel room do what you want. And yes, technically the consumption of alcohol isn't allowed in Islam. But not everyone is a practicing Muslim. Same as any other religion you have people who don't have an issue with these sort of things and are ok with it. It's a choice. Dubai, being a tourist attraction is aimed at entertainment and so it provides these things. The emirate of Shajrah, which promotes culture and religion, is dry. I think the problem is that people don't differentiate between the religion and the country. Yes the predominent religion is Islam but there are also very many other religions. People think that all Muslims are strict and practicing when in reality there's a range of beliefs just like anywhere else. Also, several Middle Eastern countries have alcohol and such because there are a lot of Arab Christians. And honestly, they're lenient about alcohol but picky about drugs. So what? No country has got a policy that is 100% fair or right. The U.S. has got some double-standards as well. And I can say that cause I'm from there, believe it or not. I've only been in the UAE for a couple of years.
fawfulster 11
I really hope you guys are just tourists and not muslims. If not, the long claw of the law is going to chaze you.
lmow885 0
I agree^ thats like saying that all citizens of any country are subject to that countries main religion. For example, (Im not going to use America, because of how the country was started on the pretense of religious freedom), but lets take Israel. Im Israeli, so of course everyone there is expected to be Jewish. Which I am, but there are many people (though definitely not a majority) who are Christian, Muslim, or of other religion.