Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, I have a horrible hangover. My mom also decided it was a good day to go hiking. I ended up puking on the trail. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML
Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realize she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. Five minutes later I shat and vomited myself. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML
Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
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Top comments
repyourcliche 0
i hope Chunks is not your father's nickname.
ladysandy_fml 0
your name mothapuka make me laugh so hard hahaha
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Comments (39)
repyourcliche 0
i hope Chunks is not your father's nickname.
repyourcliche 0
sarcasm detector goes 'WOOOOOOOOOOOOO'... coulda been worse though. i could've done the whole 'OHMYGODZ FIRST!!!!11111!111 LMFAO'
WhoIsThe 7
Daughter of a bitch... (you know like son of a bitch? You get it? Nah you don't get it...)
ladysandy_fml 0
your name mothapuka make me laugh so hard hahaha
infantry831 0
you suck I hate you
catatonicsleep 17
can't you leave her somewhere and go and look round on your own until she feels better?
perdix 31
It would be funny if you got busted for shoplifting. I'd love to see the security guy's face when he inspects your mom's bag.
bugmenotmofo 34
Dubai? Automatic FYL.
snafu57 1
I love your comment #1
Pineapples00 0
LOL, if you're from Dubai I kinda doubt it :P
piqqu 0
why? o_O alcohol isn't entirely banned in dubai. they serve it at hotels (and the duty-free) and you can purchase it from there. and as long as it's in a private place, you can knock yourself out.
turdburgers 0
YDI for making her go out and buy you crap when she's obviously sick.
nanner6206 24
since when are parents made to do anything by their children?
turdburgers 0
maybe they thought she was pregnant or had a virus?