Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML
Today, I have a horrible hangover. My mom also decided it was a good day to go hiking. I ended up puking on the trail. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML
Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realize she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. Five minutes later I shat and vomited myself. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML
Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
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Top comments
repyourcliche 0
i hope Chunks is not your father's nickname.
ladysandy_fml 0
your name mothapuka make me laugh so hard hahaha
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Comments (39)
pink_pulse 2
Well, the countries that aren't friendly to other religions are totally and completely wrong. One of Islam's biggest teachings is to respect other religions and cooperate with them. So blame that on the government, not the religion. That's people giving Islam a bad name. And I understand what you're saying about the crimes and the punishments. But I suppose what's considered a huge crime is related to culture as well. And when it comes to the Arab world, people (Arabs included) mistaken a lot of the culture for religion and that is a whole other conversation my friend =P. But Muslim liberals aren't rare at all. It's something you realize after living here, there's a lot of degrees in their liberation. Some will drink, some will go clubbing but don't drink, some will eat pork, some will date but won't have premarital sex, etc. They just don't make the news cause they're normal people. Plus, you know, they look like everyone else, lol. Anyway, thanks for the conversation, I appreciate that you weren't defensive or anything :-).
kp1994 0
So...Since SHE'S the one throwing up....YOU'RE the one with the bad life? I don't fully get it. I get how that can be embarassing, but still, it's not as bad as if that was YOU blowing chunks.
grrnessxx 0
and the reason you didnt take her home was......???
xSusannah 0
if you made her go its YDI if she made you go FML indeed lets hope it was option 2 for your sake and that sucks. if it was option 1 you suck. how slack are you to your own mother
pink_pulse 2
Well, I see you're living up to your nickname. Good to know that respect comes naturally for you.
Gloverboy6 1
I despise Lady Gaga. The only thing that would be worse is maybe playing Taylor Swifts which my sister likes
pink_pulse 2
Lol! Petty much? Lighten up :-P.
bcbrowngirl 0
i would hav just taken her home and if she refused, call security! LMAO! ydi 4 not gettin her home!
lolton 0
funny name
gasbandit 2
Dubai knows how to party.