Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, I'm covered in scratches because a feral cat found its way under the house and tore apart the A/C duct to climb its way into my room in the middle of the night. After 30 minutes of chasing it, I got rid of it, but my room now smells like cat piss and I'm applying Neosporin to places I should never have to. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 12 AM. After I told her to chill, I realized the mattress needed some air. Inflating it didn't work so I looked for the puncture wound. While trying to find a hot glue stick to patch it with, I got a thin shard of glass in my foot, which broke while I tried to get it out. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
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Top comments
FancyKnickers_fml 0
It was Schrödinger's cat.
Lunaa94 6
It was Edward Cullen. I've always known he was a pussy.
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Comments (103)
xlil_miss_emo_x 6
maybe it's like Chris Griffin off of family guy's evil monkey in the closet, as you have an evil cat in the closet lol
SkateboardGirl88 11
lol i was thinking the same thing!
eminem_luvr 0
meoww ;)
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
sexual innuendo?
xdust 4
Eat the cat. bite for a bite.
therealsuperman 0
blame it on the alcohol
Happygofucky 0
It wasn't a cat, it was your creepy neighbour. Check under your bed before you go to sleep from now on.
linzbinzzz 7
u sure it was a cat..? cud hav been "something" else
abi96 0
you put quotation marks around the wrong word, imo.
linzbinzzz 7
wat word should i hav put them around? im jw lol
xlil_miss_emo_x 6
maybe it's an evil kitty and the bite is its victim's mark so it knows who's face to maul
kykyshay 0
oookaaaay. I'm not coming over to your neighborhood...
emilyexplicit 0
MIAOW MIAOW MIAOW MIAOW MIAOW MIAOW MIAOW!!!!!!!!!!
Civilianswilldie 0
I just lost 7 IQ points reading your comment.
kingtz 6
Buy yourself a dog now, op.