Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, I'm covered in scratches because a feral cat found its way under the house and tore apart the A/C duct to climb its way into my room in the middle of the night. After 30 minutes of chasing it, I got rid of it, but my room now smells like cat piss and I'm applying Neosporin to places I should never have to. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 12 AM. After I told her to chill, I realized the mattress needed some air. Inflating it didn't work so I looked for the puncture wound. While trying to find a hot glue stick to patch it with, I got a thin shard of glass in my foot, which broke while I tried to get it out. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
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Top comments
FancyKnickers_fml 0
It was Schrödinger's cat.
Lunaa94 6
It was Edward Cullen. I've always known he was a pussy.
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Comments (103)
SavageFrenchFri 0
first!:D
Dempsey_xoxo 7
^ No one cares.
TomasT 0
Get a rabies shot as well... you never know...
xstaticdelta 6
YDI for not securely locking your room
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
If you were asleep, how would you know that a cat bit you?
HateyMcHater 4
Maybe waking up screaming with a cat attached to her face was some sort of clue.
too_tiny 5
lol @ 77. hilarious
abi96 0
looks like Halle Berry is no longer catwoman.
SilenceIsSilver 0
It was Halle Berry:P
Lunaa94 6
It was Edward Cullen. I've always known he was a pussy.
mzeemzima 0
if I could like something I would like that ^^
ForeverJade 14
@49 But you can like it 0.o
Kua_Mei 0
I'm curious as to how the doctor has the knowledge of it explicitly being a cat that bit you. EDIT: I think I mis-read the FML. If so, allow me to rephrase: I'm curious as to how you have the knowledge of it being a cat that bit you, despite not having a cat and not knowing how a cat could have been anywhere near you while you slept.
lauraaaaaa_fml 7
Probably because she woke up when the cat bit her, so saw it run off afterwards. It shouldn't be that curious to you that she knows it was a cat, unless you think people regularly sleep through animals biting their arms...
ad_astra_taurus 2
haha!
heathersmorin 0
Maybe op woke up when bit. Or when waking in the am saw a cat in their bedroom, having common sense, felt pain, saw a bite, a put 2 and 2 together and thought "this feline has bite me." This is only an assumption on my part. And an experienced doctor is able to identify what you have been bit by. Dog and cat bites don't look similar.
LiLLYNCH420 0
bite marks can lead you to the type of animal it was
rallets 23
it would be distinctive against a shark bite or a bear bite
bitchmode 0
IT WAS A CUCUY!!!!! D:
MetalLetteRaver 0
aye chihuahua lol
fightingkittens 39
Doctors are pretty good at knowing what kind of bite you have. Dog bites and cat bites look very different. Also, if I got a mysterious bite in the middle of the night, I'd more readily assume that a cat managed to get into my house than a dog.
memo619 0
ninja cat
sterlingarcher 1
that's amazing :)
Inspired22 11
I would try to find out how it got in. That's creepy. Was your window open?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Sorry op. He was hungry.
TurkeyBaconLovin 0
ahahahhaha
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Sorry op. He was hungry.
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
It was Ted Bundy's spy cat!
JustinThunder 8
It hides in your closet, contemplating its next attack.
FancyKnickers_fml 0
It was Schrödinger's cat.
greenlantern27 6
Hahaha yes, great answer.
nohugs4u 8
rofl
kazzz23 0
Love the reference!(:
McGherkin 0
WIN Detected.
chrisbyg 6
Obviously alive!
lizzlegirl 9
thus makes me wonder if there's a cat hiding in my room as we speak
aardvarkish 17
Don't look now...
sloppyflow 1
there is one right in ur pants. don't look. it shoots water.
kei1108 13
........... Pervert...