Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, I'm covered in scratches because a feral cat found its way under the house and tore apart the A/C duct to climb its way into my room in the middle of the night. After 30 minutes of chasing it, I got rid of it, but my room now smells like cat piss and I'm applying Neosporin to places I should never have to. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML
Today, my cat woke me up at 12 AM. After I told her to chill, I realized the mattress needed some air. Inflating it didn't work so I looked for the puncture wound. While trying to find a hot glue stick to patch it with, I got a thin shard of glass in my foot, which broke while I tried to get it out. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML
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Top comments
FancyKnickers_fml 0
It was Schrödinger's cat.
Lunaa94 6
It was Edward Cullen. I've always known he was a pussy.
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Comments (103)
Banana_Pancakes6 0
When ******* attack!
MissBunny25 0
mini me!
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for going to sleep.
john7h567hgrd 0
A cat once snuck into my house and it took the family like 3 days to notice. We were all sitting watching TV and both the cats came over to us and my mom said "... don't we only have one cat?"
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for being straight.
FancyKnickers_fml 0
Problem?
john7h567hgrd 0
Thank you! =) I live to make people happy!
darkmis1 18
Awww!!! Did you keep the kitty?
quicheme45 0
Wow that sucks....
jewels1877 0
This made me think of, "Pussy cat, pussy cat.. I love yooouuu." Dunno why.
kykyshay 0
except the pussy cat attacked the boys face on his sleep.
doggiemcwoofwoof 2
That cat was a demon lol
BabyBlaze 0
That is hysterical. I like the way you worded it.
atomicbaboon 0
maybe it came from your dreams! or maybe you're really a mancat and you bit yourself in your sleep!!
atomicbaboon 0
if it's already infected, how long ago were you bitten?
gotbiscuits 0
Are you sure the incident took place in your bedroom? Looks to me like you have been sleepwalking, got bored and decided to bother an innocent cat that happened to be passing by.
AshlyNicole 0
haha yes