Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant. He laughed and said, “April Fools, right?” then left the room, still laughing like it was the dumbest thing ever. Tomorrow's April Fools day. I really am pregnant. FML
Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML
Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
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Top comments
feven 32
You should've said "I'm not a man" just to **** with him too
XxDanno316xX 27
You're not on the pill!? Jeez man. At least use condoms Eh mate!
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Comments (86)
Happy4ever_fml 10
This reminds me of the time I was freaked out by how fat I had become, judging from my large manboobs. Then I remembered I'm a girl... I can totally relate OP!
i_needa_username 17
Seriously?! How do u ppl function in society???? (no offense!!)
ThatDamHuntress 20
How do you guys have enough brain cells to talk #24?
satanarroliga 12
"I'm going to completely insult your intelligence, but no offense!"
girI 20
How exactly does one forget their gender? I mean, it's been the same since the day you were born (there are obviously exceptions, but they're relatively rare), and I think it's easier to forget your name than your gender...
otecasacid 22
Water Birth an 8 pounder and it'll be basically the same thing
tylercarolinex 21
How on earth you even got scared I don't know..
buckstop1 37
You wouldn't freak out if you were pregnant? Assuming it wasn't planned.
ItsDutch 16
he was unsure of who was the baby daddy
lil_ham1644 29
Quack
jackycat 17
#25 OP lacking the basic parts to get pregnant kind of makes it ridiculous that he freaked out. If the doctor had told OP his girlfriend was pregnant that's an entirely different situation. OP freaked out because he, and man, was pregnant.
mrmcleod 29
Yeah #25, #15 might freak out because SHE actually has the lady parts to produce a baby.
rocketgurl 15
You put the M in PMS
gracehi 33
Maybe he freaked out because he was MANstrating.
i_needa_username 17
How could you forget that?! I doubt this is true P
buckstop1 37
I doubt you're true.
ItsDutch 16
Didn't your parents warn you about cooties when you were little?
labaro19 17
I'm ashamed for you
Psycho_Babydoll 26
It's oddly comforting to know that men get to share some level of this fear.
mrmcleod 29
Reminds me of when my wife became pregnant with our first kid. I was afraid to tell my parents. Then I remembered I was 23 with a well paying stable job. But I was seriously freaking out.
abNormal62 23
I would have paid good money to be there when you tried to explain your "condition" to your partner Clearly you were absent on the day they explained the conception process in health class
blackonblight 33
Man, virgins who haven't even been kissed freak out over late/missed periods. Because who knows, we may be the first case of human parthenogenesis. But people without a uterus? I think there's a level of safety there.