Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML
Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
Today, while getting a breast exam for some suspicious lumps, I was lying on the table with my boobs exposed and I learned my doctor is afraid of wasps. I had to chase the wasp out whilst topless. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I got a mammogram, after feeling some discomfort. After the exam, I mentioned to my mother my doctor referred the test, because even though I'm still in my twenties, I have a family history of breast cancer. She told coworkers, friends, and family about my health condition. Now they all know. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
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Top comments
g0dless 15
Aw don't worry OP! I'm sure they've had this happen plenty of times :)
rg350dx 29
Hey, a nice breast rubbing does feel good. But then again it's an unfortunate slip of the tongue considering its your doctor doing it. I guess the male equivalent of that would be, "Now turn your head and cough".."That felt good, doc"
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Comments (111)
bryonyb33 17
Best thing I have read today! Thank you OP :)
songtrees 8
she knew what you meant. no worries. when in doubt, though, say "fine" haha
rachel_h 14
Haha!! Awkward.. ;)
Slaught000 9
This is now my favourite FML. You are sooo gay OP, I wonder what the doctor thought haha.
Bunny21 11
Lmfao you're story had truly made my day. Thanks OP!
pedinhuh 23
Where's the brazzers logo when it's called for????
meaganxo 14
Ha! This is too perfect.
EVnIAS 13
I am waiting for the follow up telling us how you returned the favor... oh well a man can dream.......
chrissy2 28
Maybe they should turn this into a porno.
panda_cakes 12
and the awkward silence comes in..... now