Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML
Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML
Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML
Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML
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Top comments
yake12 0
wow! normally I would say ydi for getting a name tattoo but kids are different!! well someone else may be the father but if you raise her properly you can be her dad
hellokimmiee 5
ouch, that hurts
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Comments (255)
chippa 24
That's a LOT of men to be sleeping with around the same time. And you had no idea? Leaving your wife will be hard on your kid. I'm sorry you're stuck in such a hard place, OP.
SoccerForTheWin 5
Correction not his kid...
skylarbee 8
Correction possibly not his kid.
young0426 3
u totally deserved it~ why did u marry a bitch like her？
maybaybe 0
I don't think he noticed she was a bitch otherwise he wouldn't have married her.
LiznessMonster 9
#58 THANK YOU! Everytime someone's significant other does something horribly wrong, There's so many stupid comments like "Why would you even marry someone like that." Not everyone is retarded, if they new the person was so...evil for lack of better words, they wouldn't of married them, so OBVIOUSLY they had no idea. It's called common sense.
TXCandy 3
wouldn't u notice ur wife was acting slutty?
IneffableLullaby 13
You just now found out she's a *****? **** your life, dude. Seriously.
honeybunches88 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm tempted to say YDI just for marrying her. For a wife to be cheating with that many men, I would assume this isn't the first time she's cheated. Knowing she's done it before should have given you the heads up not to propose. Once a cheater, always a cheater in most cases. But still..FYL for having her lie to you for 13 months about the child.
RedPillSucks 33
People typically cheat secretly, not out in the open for everyone to notice right away.
honeybunches88 5
I understand that. I just don't think it would be very easy to conceal the fact that you're cheating with so many men. Maybe I'm wrong. I've never cheated so I probably just don't realize how easy it is to hide.
mightymart 5
wow.. your wife is a *****
docscientist 10
How come girls aren't coming out of the woodwork saying, divorce her? Seems to dominate posts where a guy acts like a bit of an asshole to warrant a thousand 'dump hims'. Seriously though, she sounds like she needs treatment.
emmanizzer 6
because there's a child involved
docscientist 10
A child that's unlikely his.
dragead12 0
unfortunately, if he did divorce her, she would most likely get the child anyway. Studies have shown that divorce cases tend to give custody of the children to the wife, regardless of who was the cheater.
rockell 0
wow dump the **** that's horrible she's know for over a year
TheDrifter 24
Or the smell of sex in the house? Hell maybe the wife's perpetual limp? They can narrow the window down to about a week, and if she can only narrow it down to a half dozen guys that she had unprotected sex with, it's time to go get checked.
mightymart 5
can i meet your wife?
hellogoodbye1996 6
haha win!! ^