Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with a girl I really liked. She started crying when an overweight family walked in and loudly sobbed about how the parents were "murdering" their children. This made the father of that family try to fight me. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, my mother's boyfriend accused me of gaining weight in the middle of a restaurant. He then lifted my shirt all the way to my bra. My mother is angry at me for causing a scene when I screamed, slapped him, and threw a drink in his face, causing him to get arrested. FML
Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
Mom likes being the center of attention, does she?
jonnymohio 2
At least now the whole family knows what you're escaping from, right?
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Comments (73)
justmyluck1212 0
dang thats embarrassing man
jessxoxo28 5
LMAO! ur mom's hilarious!
bodmitri 0
LMAO, that's crazy... Nice little 'Family Get-Together' hu? LoL
boo_betch_boo 0
Your mom is a bitch! I'd be so embarrassed if I was your girlfriend and out in public with your family.
Daarren 0
at least you ate.
KatieGoesRawrr 0
Well, FYL. but to all the people who said that the OP's mum is crazy, she was most likely already really pissed so lets not cut to conclusions, but that would be rly embarrassing in front of your gf, but she'll probably/hopefully understand.
tombom 0
lol yeah the thing about being assertive at a resturaunt is that the chef gets annoyed and rubs his happy sac on your food and puts in his special ingredient (**** COUGH COUGH). So if ur food is bad learn to love it.
reymysteriofan 0
What's assertive and assert?
DameGreyWulf 1
Ugh, I hate it when my mother just bitch bitch BITCHES about the food, then does nothing about it. It seems she does it every where we go.
ithedarkone 0
YDI YDI YDI YDI YDI YDI YOU DESERVE THIS SOOOOOOOOO MUCH I HAD TO WRITE IT IN CAPS. One thing you never do insult your mom in front of people like that. Was your mom acting like a bitch yes but give her a signal like hey mom maybe you want to tone it down a little. Like when ever my mom start getting pissed and we are in front of people we make eye contact and she already knows I'm like hey mom its OK dont get mad calm down. But to try to reprimand your mom like that its totally insulting to your mom. That's the women who raised you and take care of you regardless. You dont try to pull some shit like that just to look cool in front of your girlfriends parents what you expect a kiss on the cheek i hope she knock some sense into your silly ass.