Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
Today, after saving for years, I was finally ready to buy a home. I found a decent place. I put in an offer. A hedge fund bought it 7 minutes later, for cash. FML
Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML
Today, I bought a home at a bargain. It will need 5 grand in repairs to fix plumbing and electric, but it's mine. When I pulled up the listing to show pictures to my friends, there was a new listing that was in the same neighborhood, and a larger, nicer house that is move in ready. Same price. FML
Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML
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Top comments
bluucat 17
She's just jealous.
afkwarrior 25
Wow. Tell her to go bid on some manners.
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Comments (114)
Bloink 25
should've bidded a buck like that simpsons episode
Douchbag_fml 4
Maybe the house was haunted
lullaby_princess 8
how is this an fml... you got what you wanted...one person calls you a name and you say fml...maybe you are a cockhead...
worldclassrager 41
All that's matters is that you got it...enjoy!
squarecircles 13
Do you have a Mohawk? 'Cause Mohawks look like roosters and roosters, well...are cocks.
renajess 16
Maybe it was her house and she didn't want it to go so cheap? Either way op, you got a new house so that's great!
guineagirl 18
wow FML cuz someone said something under their breathe
Callilah 13
All that really matters is that you got the house you wanted!:)
Kyle_china 2
you can give him a cockass！
chance456 9
how is that a fml u got called a name big deal