Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
Preapproved
Today, after saving for years, I was finally ready to buy a home. I found a decent place. I put in an offer. A hedge fund bought it 7 minutes later, for cash. FML
Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML
Home sweet home
Today, I bought a home at a bargain. It will need 5 grand in repairs to fix plumbing and electric, but it's mine. When I pulled up the listing to show pictures to my friends, there was a new listing that was in the same neighborhood, and a larger, nicer house that is move in ready. Same price. FML
Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
My new house
Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML
Top comments
bluucat 17
She's just jealous.
afkwarrior 25
Wow. Tell her to go bid on some manners.
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Comments (114)
arturo_s 10
I fail to see how this made fml, you just bought an insanely cheap house but got called a cockhead, doesn't sound like a bad day to me
grashopper8 7
Hahaha I know you're in the UK but it sounds like you were in New England :) Meh, assholes are everywhere. Don't let us ruin your fun! ;)
Neoking 4
Congrats but this isn't really an FML. Who really cares that she said cockhead?
WD_Stevens 22
I wonder what the tone was. If the person was snickering they might have thought it was worth nowhere near that
brandoneyez1 25
She was jealous you won.
starfish7 18
Why is this an FML? It's not that bad, really.
lil_mars 1
So? You'll never see her again. Get over it.
PainOfDemise 11
Guess she wanted that house too. Oh well, she's a sore loser.
jaylacheatham 7
why'd you say lucky me to her? lol
tukies 28
Who cares what she said. You got the house at an absurdly low price. Lucky indeed.