Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball… right into her face again. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
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Top comments
ScaryyMary 14
You're doing it wrong. You're supposed to HIT on girls, not KICK on them. Sheesh.
NGM_47 0
she was the one pushing him :)
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Comments (44)
robert000ooo 0
Should have given her a good ol' fashioned ****-punt!
stairshurtz 0
Goooooooal!
ifinishlast 0
ydi for not knowing the difference between a number and a kick in the face
ladiesman14 0
is your name mr. ed ? and is the playground in the barn ? i bet her face looks like mr. eds sister now thanks to you.
Ninjaface 0
At least she know you can defend her as long as there's a swing set nearby. Of course, she might decide that that's too situational for her, in which case you're screwed (figuratively only).
Prawn_fml 2
Surely this is no big deal, as long as you ran up to make sure she was all right, guided her back to the house, kept by her side looking like you felt really bad (which you seemed to from the FML), etc.
dexterious_goat 0
yeah way to go OP maybe after you got her number you could go watch dora the explorer then maybe a pudding pop before mommy picks you up from day-care. tomorrow you can play doctor since you kicked the shit out of her nose!
PaperShreds 0
Your friend has a swing in his backyard? Awesome!
lillyass 0
Thats great. first fml to make me laugh today.
litthenewman386 0
thats sad man you kicked her in the face how ,How really how could you have kicked hre in the face giveing her your number !!!!!!?? HOW