Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, a bag of grapes fell out of my shopping cart in the parking lot. I bent down to grab them, only for the bag to burst open. I ended up chasing runaway grapes across the tarmac, but it's only when a car of strangers started cheering me on that I took the L, gave up the fight, and went back to buy more, but the remaining stock was moldy and shit. FML
Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML
Today, I tried to return a library book sneakily to avoid the overdue fine. I slid it on the counter but the scanner screamed, lights flashed, and the librarian announced my humiliatingly overdue name like a game show host. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML
Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping and tried the self-checkout for the first time. I managed to scan everything except a bag of grapes, which I then dropped, causing them to scatter all over the floor. As I scrambled to pick them up, I slipped on a grape and fell flat on my back. The security footage must have been comedy gold. FML
Today, I bought grapes. Just grapes. At the checkout, the total was $14. I laughed. The cashier didn’t. Now I'll be eating one grape a day like it's caviar. FML
Today, I had a shift at my job at a grocery store that was full of rude and impatient customers. Someone dropped a bottle of wine and it shattered next to me. I found a half-eaten packet of sushi behind some magazines. The scale on another register broke. "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette played on the store radio at the end. FML
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Top comments
halcyon93 16
I bet whoever was working at the time got a bit of a shock then...
llamarrama01 21
You know what they say. People like grapes.
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Comments (101)
Dif_fml 12
How did this make it? I've posted way worse FMLs that didn't make it.
Marzell 12
Thanks for the chuckle. I worked in a bookstore and that's probably one of the least odd things I'd have heard there. don't be too hard on yourself.
EmeraldMoonshine 21
Yeah, Chapter 3 is about a horny turtle crossing the road if I remember correctly. lol
lolurkidding 13
This is too funny...did you get a chuckle out of anyone? Or at least find the book?
Saraishi 25
THOSE ARE THE BEST KIND AND I MUST HAVE THEM NOW. Sorry OP, it must've been embarrassing but it's funny.
6demon6spawn6 12
Princess Luna? Is that you?
XxAlonexX4 2
THEY'RE RIGHT OVER THERE, NEXT TO THE ANNOYING ORANGES!!
buckdharma 38
Right they're in the dusty bowl.
headofmedusa 15
Use your inside voice
Bossgirlhana 15
I have a joke somewhat related to this FML: A duck walks in to a barn and asks the farmer, "Got any grapes?" The farmer says no and the duck walks out. A few minutes later, the duck asks the same question and the farmer says no. The third time this happens, the farmer says, "If you ask me that question again, I'll nail your webbed feet to the wall and let you hang there!" The duck waddles out. A few minutes later, the duck asks, "Got any nails?" The farmers says he doesn't. The ducks asks, "Got any grapes?" I couldn't resist.