Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, a bag of grapes fell out of my shopping cart in the parking lot. I bent down to grab them, only for the bag to burst open. I ended up chasing runaway grapes across the tarmac, but it's only when a car of strangers started cheering me on that I took the L, gave up the fight, and went back to buy more, but the remaining stock was moldy and shit. FML
Today, I was using self-checkout at the grocery store, and the machine flipped out and started randomly announcing, "Please wait for assistance." No one came to help, but the machine just kept loudly repeating it until everyone stared at me like I was trying to steal grapes. FML
Today, I tried to return a library book sneakily to avoid the overdue fine. I slid it on the counter but the scanner screamed, lights flashed, and the librarian announced my humiliatingly overdue name like a game show host. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML
Today, I went to the bookstore. While I was in line, I heard everyone talking about how a book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking lot into a car, smashing the front. It was my car. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping and tried the self-checkout for the first time. I managed to scan everything except a bag of grapes, which I then dropped, causing them to scatter all over the floor. As I scrambled to pick them up, I slipped on a grape and fell flat on my back. The security footage must have been comedy gold. FML
Today, I bought grapes. Just grapes. At the checkout, the total was $14. I laughed. The cashier didn’t. Now I'll be eating one grape a day like it's caviar. FML
Today, I had a shift at my job at a grocery store that was full of rude and impatient customers. Someone dropped a bottle of wine and it shattered next to me. I found a half-eaten packet of sushi behind some magazines. The scale on another register broke. "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette played on the store radio at the end. FML
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Top comments
halcyon93 16
I bet whoever was working at the time got a bit of a shock then...
llamarrama01 21
You know what they say. People like grapes.
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Comments (101)
Mandaeryn 10
Quite honestly, this sounds like something my mother would do. She likes to mess up names and titles because she thinks it makes her seem cute. "Call of Ops Ghost" for example.. I hope this isn't the case with you, OP. If it was truly a mistake, that must have been embarrassing as hell, and I feel for you-- FYL. If you did it because you wanted the attention, you deserve any bit of embarrassment you felt.
WretchedOnyx 29
Actually laughed out loud at this one. FYL OP, I know how this feels!
ShinyHubbCap 0
Reminds me of Peter Griffin, when he's nervous he can't control his volume- "HI!!! please come in..." Lol
lollypop624 11
i bet ppl were like 'wt da hel she bin takin' xx
SpyroCool 13
Easy there, Thor.
EnderWolf1013 9
This made my day. sorry op.
fantasyworld 39
I laughed, I'm sorry.
Jenadpantano 7
That definitly sucks, but I did get a good laugh from this! Thank you! lol
DanielleD93 16
Idc what other people think that was pretty funny
EverythingTaken2 5
I've been on fml before but I got bored and finally decided to get an actual account. I have to say, this is one of the nicest, most polite comment sections I have ever seen.