Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, I actually feel good about my decisions and my life. I've even started running to improve my health, and recover from self harming. My girlfriend is convinced I'm running to hurt myself, and won't let me near any health food or the treadmill. FML
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML
Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML
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Top comments
robc32ca 4
sorry bud she'll never trust you
Cinn_fml 23
If she's that insecure I think you need to reevaluate the relationship. Or, you could go running with her to both exercise and spend time together...though there is a more effective exericise you could do together.
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Comments (159)
JustAReaderOfFml 4
Ok lol but im siding wif ur galfrnd i wud probably hav thort the same even tho im single atm lol (hello boyssss ;) hehehe)
CloudEnvy 17
I find your command of the English language appealing. It's a wonder why this hasn't attracted folk from all corners to your doorstep. A real mystery.
FYLDeep 26
Lrn 2 spel.
JustAReaderOfFml 4
ummm, wtf? r u tryn to be cool by insultng my english? coz dats really original' NAWT.
CloudEnvy 17
Guess my flirtin' is a little rusty.
Chanti_fml 26
#27 - That's no English! And if you are also immediately paranoid just because someone want to exercise, we don't need to ask why you are single. OP - Talk to your girlfriend about why she's so insecure. And keep on exercising!
Ruff_fml 3
that's some good England right there 27
Mapholisto 7
Yes, my Ruh-train is trying to be cool. Wait, maybe that's not what you were saying...
sk8erchick101 0
#27- its cool to cpmment but learn how to ******* SPELL
jptipton2001 0
better stop running. women like for you to get in shape but most of the time you have to take them with you when you head to the gym or out running. weird I know!
Jimboom 12
Get in shape, not for her but you. Then dump her jealous ass as soon as you get all ripped. Or just tell her that your not cheating... but you were getting some interested looks from some female joggers while you were out running, see how long it takes her head to implode. ;-)
SummerBlitz 0
8- your dog is adorable!! :) and OP, dump her!! if she doesn't trust you then don't waste your time!! I know it prolly sucks but hey you never know, she may be going behind ur back! :(
YoungStackZ 0
#1 that ain't you that's some famous dude I forgot his name and OP don't run then or run with her that will work
mishxx 0
sucky :(
the_Flirt 0
stackz ur dumb
nmyybandteex3 0
you really that fat that your gf dsn't believe you'd actually do ANY physical exertion? that's kind of sad...maybeh you should look into getting a gym membership. if you go to college it's in your tuition. get fit amd smart. :). bytheway, YDI!
FMyLifeCereal 0
First you belittle him for trying to improve himself, then you tell him he should do just that. FYboyfriend'sL. You're a wackjob.
nmyybandteex3 0
i was saying his gf doesn't believe he exercises and that MAYBE he should go to a gym. excuse you, but atleast i can get a boyfriend hun and get a girlfriend if i wamted one. i'm not even going to stoop as to how low you are, i think you make yourself look like quite the idiot all on your own.
El_Pwnzor 0
#121 That's kind of rude to make presumptuous comments about someone whom you have no knowledge of. Shame on you. Besides, anyone can get a girlfriend. I have a beautiful brunette with smarts and athletics, and I'm just a shrimp. It's rather hard to read your comment without thinking your just another generic tramp who "puts out" for the soul purpose of "putting out", and I really must question where your mother went wrong. You are making a fool out of yourself, you can't even apply elementary grammar skills to your usage. So just think next time when you call someone an idiot over the internet. Besides, if he was trying to jog, where do you get off saying he deserved it? JOGGING BURNS MORE CALORIES AND IS BETTER FOR YOUR HEART THAN UPPER BODY STRENGTH. Believe me, I would know, I'm in cross country.
nmyybandteex3 0
123. for someone who is yelling at someone for judging someone beforethey even know someone, look at what you're doing. i'm not a girl who 'puts out' excuse you. and just fyi, i've had three boyfriends and on my fourth at 19. i'm not the type to do the stupid teenage dating like everyone else or **** everything in sight. and i know about exercising too. i swam competitively all my years of high school and would of continued had i not needed three shoulder surgeries. have a nice life.
FMyLifeCereal 0
You talk in such circles it's not even worth a debate. I stand by my initial assessment. Especially with that thin skin and those anger issues.
Itz_PJ 0
holy boner batman!
ChloeeRose 0
that sucks!!!
FYLDeep 26
I hate how people are always cheating, and people are always assuming the people they're with are cheating. That shit has to stop. I wish everyone would just draw a hard line against *****.
phatdaddy 0
It's called projection. It's when you subconsciously associate your own feelings and actions on others. For example, if your partner is suspicious that you are cheating when there is no rational reason that they should think that, then it probably means that they are at least thinking about cheating, if they haven't cheated already. It's an unfortunate side effect of the human condition and it's the second most basic psychological defense mechanism after denial, so there's really no way to end it. But being aware of it and being able to recognize it will help you deal with it in others, and catch yourself if you start to do it.