Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and asked, "Who am I?" He then replied, "An idiot." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my husband's family to celebrate our nephew's birthday. He spent the entire dinner flirting with his sister, then got offended when I said that his behavior was weird. FML
Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML
Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML
Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML
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Top comments
Antitrolldevice 0
Kid = 1 Idiot = 0
trynightday 0
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Comments (149)
AAAAHHHH12 2
What, he only speaks the truth. Grrrr. Not.
faildood 0
thats why i hate kids :)
sucksfoyou 0
kids hate you too
fmh123 0
cool because your a girl otherwise nerdy and lame
DameGreyWulf 1
Good point lol But I don't play that shit in restraunts anymore. I make jokes under my breath and snicker at the people around and with us. Much less noticeable and foolish. Mom still says I embarass her though. "THAT'S NOT FUNNY BE QUIET"
Stupidpoorpeople 0
18? grow up.
dayrin7 4
Don't feel bad...kids at that age really don't notice when they are being mean.
waterynuggets 0
The man didn't lie.
englishmuffin 0
What happened to tolerable kids? Do they exist anymore? =/
timtam24 0
i don't know any i have 5 cousins younger than 10 and there all little *****...
sparrowhawk_fml 0
21 and I still do that. I don't plan to stop anytime soon either.
Qup 0
I hate sarcastic kids. but I guess they just learn from example. his parents must be major asswipes. he wasn't wrong, mind you, but he needs to learn to treat aldults with more respect even if he doesn't feel it.
Antivirus_fml 0
The kid is probably 1000 times smarter than OP OP, YDI